


Office Trauma

by WitchyBee



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Epistolary, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Gossip, Male-Female Friendship, Martin's Obvious Crush, POV Outsider, Podfic Available, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 19:23:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18666793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchyBee/pseuds/WitchyBee
Summary: A series of messages exchanged by two employees in the Research department of the Magnus Institute, London.





	Office Trauma

**Matt:** You hear about the new head archivist?

 **Liz:** No. They finally found a replacement for old Gertrude, huh?

 **Matt:** Apparently. Jonathan Sims.

 **Liz:** Who?

 **Matt:** You know. He’s been in Research for the last like five years. Young guy but looks about 45, going grey and all. Sort of grouchy and pretentious. I heard he made an intern cry once. Martin's got a thing for him.

 **Liz:** Ohh right yeah I think I’ve seen him on my smoke break a few times. THAT’s the bloke Martin fancies??

 **Matt:** Yep. I guess it takes all kinds.

 **Liz:** Wow. Doesn’t sound like a big loss then honestly, except Martin will be heartbroken. Is Sims even qualified though?

 **Matt:** Beats me, ask HR. But it gets worse.

 **Liz:** Oh no

 **Matt:** Tim, Sasha, and Martin got transferred to the archives as well.

 **Liz:** WHAT??! Not Tim! His hotness is our department’s most vital asset.

 **Matt:** I knoooww. And Martin’s a certified sweetheart. Who did they all piss off to get banished to the basement?

 **Liz:** Elias, I suppose. Damn it.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Matt:** Worms????!

 **Liz:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Matt:** God, I assumed someone had accidentally set off the fire alarm or something. I mean, I’ve seen a few worms around, but that’s mad! I always figured Research was where the action is. All the archivists do is take statements and file stuff away when we're done with it.

 **Liz:** Ever been to artifact storage? There are some things in there that make me wonder.

 **Matt:** Still. It can't be that hard.

 **Liz:** Well, the dead body begs to differ.

 **Matt:** So fucking creepy. This place is definitely haunted. Who the hell would kill a sweet old lady?

 **Liz:** I dunno. The guy who replaced her maybe?

 **Matt:** Pffft. Sims? He doesn’t have it in him.

 **Liz:** It’s always the quiet ones.

 **Matt:** You’ve been listening to too many true crime podcasts.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Matt:** Our infamous archivist has completely lost it. I suspect they all have.

 **Liz:** Oh god what now? Are they killing each other?

 **Matt:** Not yet, but look.

****

**Liz:** WTF. Poor Tim! How did you even get this?

 **Matt:** An anonymous source in HR.

 **Liz:** Aka your boyfriend.

 **Matt:** Shh! The point is, Elias is obviously covering for him.

 **Liz:** Weird. He handpicks the guy for the job, and now this. You’d think Jonathan is Elias’ long lost son or something.

 **Matt:** Or they fucked. ;p

 **Liz:** Ugh NO! You’re the worst.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Liz:** Word is Sims struck again.

 **Matt:** What?

 **Liz:** My mate Kathy works in the library and she saw police poking around, asking everyone where he’d gone. He just vanished, and apparently they found another body in his office. Some old man.

 **Matt:** Christ! What’s he got against old people?

 **Liz:** No idea. Thing is, Sasha’s missing too.

 **Matt:** Fuck. You don’t think...?

 **Liz:** I don’t know. Maybe she just cut her losses and quit. She always had sense, and I wouldn’t blame her if even half the rumors are true.

 **Matt:** God, this is insane.

 **Liz:** Yeah. No wonder people get a bit twitchy when I tell them I work here.

 **Matt:** We’re out chasing ghosts and shadows, dead ends most of the time, when the real fucked up mysteries are right under our noses in the bloody basement. How is this our lives?

 **Liz:** That’s deep.

 **Matt:** Shut up.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Matt:** Did that detective talk to you too?

 **Liz:** Interrogate, you mean? Yeah. As if I'd know where Sims is.

 **Matt:** Right? Guy worked in our department for years and we barely knew anything about him, let alone the whole...murderer thing.

 **Liz:** Speaking of serial killer vibes, that Tonner woman...

 **Matt:** Yeah... Gave me the creeps too.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 **Matt:** You really think he’s innocent?

 **Liz:** Dunno. But he’s back regardless, so the police must think so. And when I saw him in the break room earlier, well...he looked like shit. Like not just exhausted and stressed but actually injured.

 **Matt:** Huh. Maybe he fought the real killer.

 **Liz:** Well, at least Martin will be relieved he’s okay.

 **Matt:** Yeah. I hope those poor bastards are getting some kind of hazard pay out of all this.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Liz:** You seen those new girls around? The redhead and the one with the hijab?

 **Matt:** Yeah. I can’t believe anyone would still voluntarily take a job in the archives. After Sasha and everything.

 **Liz:** Maybe they didn’t. According to Tim, they’re all as good as prisoners, but he just got back from holiday so who knows. He’s been a little...unstable. I’m worried.

 **Matt:** Me too. I hope he’s all right.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Liz:** I still can’t fucking believe it.

 **Matt:** Yeah.

 **Liz:** We’ve been working for a fucking murderer!

 **Matt:** Apparently.

 **Liz:** That’s it? Why aren’t you more upset? That son of a bitch killed at least two people! For all we know he might’ve killed Sasha, and Jon, and that Diane lady too!

 **Matt:** Shut up. We don’t know for certain that they’re dead.

 **Liz:** But Tim is! And no one will even tell us what the fuck realy happened so until i kno otherwise i am blaming elias

 **Liz:** Sorry. I jus t. Im so fcking angry and scared adn

 **Matt:** I know. Breathe.

 **Liz:** fuckk i cant

 **Matt:** You can. Just take a few deep breaths.

 **Liz:** i’ve got kids matt

 **Liz:** We’re gonna die here

 **Matt:** No we’re not. Elias is going to prison. Besides, all this shit seems pretty focused on the archives for whatever reason.

 **Liz:** But it could’ve been us, yknow? Tim, Sasha, Jon... They all started out in Research. If we had been transferred instead...

 **Matt:** We weren’t.

 **Matt:** Lizzy? You still there?

 **Liz:** I can’t do this. I’m going home. The mysterious new boss is offering compassionate leave for anyone who needs it. I think I’ll take it.

 **Matt:** Okay. That’s good. Self care is important and all.

 **Liz:** Yeah.

 **Liz:** I don’t know if I’ll be coming back.

 **Matt:** Oh.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Liz:** Hey.

 **Matt:** Hey.

 **Matt:** Been a while.

 **Liz:** I know. I’m sorry.

 **Matt:** You have nothing to apologize for. These past few months were fucked up. I haven’t really felt like talking much either.

 **Liz:** I thought I was going to quit. But I just couldn’t.

 **Matt:** Because you’d miss me too much?

 **Liz:** Ha. I mean, yeah, but no it wasn’t just that. I think Tim might have been right. We’re all stuck here. Trapped.

 **Matt:** Hmm. I’m not sure I feel particularly trapped.

 **Liz:** Think about it. That last year, Tim just got angrier and angrier. Kept telling anybody who’d listen to quit while they can, that we’re all being watched. Maybe Elias knew.

 **Matt:** Elias didn’t kill Tim. He died in some freak accident at a wax museum or a circus or something.

 **Liz:** You seriously believe that load of bullshit?

 **Matt:** Listen, I want answers as much as you do, but I think we should focus on the facts.

 **Liz:** Sure. I just wish we had any.

 **Liz:** I need to know what’s going on. I’m sick of being afraid and not knowing why.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Liz:** Have you seen Martin at all lately?

 **Matt:** Once or twice. I think he got promoted. Works with Lukas now.

 **Liz:** Oh, good for him.

 **Matt:** He didn't look that happy about it.

 **Liz:** Huh. Well, maybe he'll be safer at least.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 **Liz:** I don't trust Peter Lukas. Did you get that weird email? 'Restructuring to better serve our core values'?

 **Matt:** Yeah. Sounds like downsizing. Maybe we'll get fired.

 **Liz:** If only we were so lucky.

 **Matt:**  He's better than Elias, though.

 **Liz:**  Is he? The lesser of two evils is still evil. And we've literally never seen him. How do we know he's even real? Could just be Elias micromanaging from his prison cell.

 **Matt:** If it was, things would be running a lot more smoothly. Aside from the occasional murder.

 **Liz:** That's not funny.

 **Matt:** Sorry.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Liz:** So, Jon’s not dead.

 **Matt:** What?? I thought he'd died for sure!

 **Liz:** Either he’s alive or I just saw his very sad ghost. Which, considering where we are, isn’t out of the question actually.

 **Matt:** Did you talk to him?

 **Liz:** Tried to. I said hi, he said 'hello Elizabeth' then he got this weird look on his face and left before I could ask where he’s been. There was something a bit...off about him. Like, his eyes. I dunno.

 **Matt:** God, they really are bonkers in the archives. I’m pretty sure the whole lot of them stopped going home. They just live down there now.

 **Liz:** To be fair, I just talked to Rosie and she says Jon was in a coma.

 **Matt:** For six months?? And he’s back at work totally fine like nothing happened?

 **Liz:** I guess. Honestly I can’t say anything around here surprises me any more.

 **Matt:** Shit. Me neither.

 **Matt:** Wait, wasn’t Elias arrested at the hospital?

 **Liz:** That’s what I heard.

 **Liz:** Oh Jesus, you think he was trying to tie up loose ends, so to speak?

 **Matt:** Could be. I wouldn’t put it past him at this point.

 **Liz:** Fuck. I really hate this place.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @podcastenthusiast.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Office Trauma](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22043200) by [arkadyevna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkadyevna/pseuds/arkadyevna), [Kess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kess/pseuds/Kess)




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